The Evil Plot
by DVL
Summary: Naraku has come up with the most evil of all evil plots...he's sending my crazy characters to join Inuyasha! This won't end so well...
1. Into IY

My first ever long fic!!! Yay!!! Wreck, DVL, and Blaze are going to Inuyasha, to kill all the annoying characters and generally wreak havoc. And kill a lot of demons with Shikon shards. I promise it will be funny but still have some action, okay? Okay. Now read!

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*Naraku's Fortress*

Naraku: *talking to himself* Hehehehe…I have it! The best Evil Plot in the history of Evil Plots! This will eliminate Inuyasha and those others once and for all! (looks at portraits of ancestors on the wall, who all look like him) Aren't you all proud of me? I've done it! (laughs evilly)

Kagura: (pokes her head in) Are you all right in here?

Naraku: (coughs) Ah yes, I am quite all right. Thank you for your concern.

Kagura: (rolls her eyes and leaves)

Naraku: (resumes evil laughter)

*Mansion*

Wreck: I'm BORED!

DVL: (was going to give gasoline to Rev for his car, but stops) Uh-oh…Blaze, what do we do?

Blaze: Usually take her to an anime and let her kill someone.

Wreck: Yay! Kill Jaken! Kill Kikyo, Hojo, Kagome, Relena, Tea, Puar, Trigun cat!!! KILL THEM!!!

DVL: Is that all?

Blaze: Yeah really. What about Vicious's bird?

DVL: Don't encourage her.

Blaze: I know, but I really hate that bird.

DVL: He has to have the bird. It really completes his image. Hey Wreck, what about Koga?

Wreck: No! Koga's fun to be on the video game!

DVL: …video game?

Blaze: (glares at all others) All right, who let her play video games? You all KNOW she's not supposed to play video games!

There is a lot of shrugging. Then:

Ion: (across the room playing Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale on his Playstation) Not me.

DVL: You're not very good at lying, are you Ion?

Ion: Whatever.

DVL: *mad face* Don't "whatever" me, you little…! (grabs Ion and starts strangling him with one hand while holding the gasoline in the other)

Ion: *turning purple* Ah…ah…ah…

Suddenly Wreck, DVL, and Blaze vanish, leaving Ion gasping on the floor and everyone else paying no attention at all.

*In Inuyasha*

Inuyasha and co. are fighting a big demon for its Shikon shard.

Kagome: Inuyasha, the shard is in its leg!

Inuyasha: (has been attacking the demon's upper body) NOW you tell me. (starts attacking the leg)

Wreck: (lands on top of Inuyasha, knocking them both to the ground) Ouchies.

Inuyasha: Who the hell are you? Get off me!

Miroku: Indeed. Only Lady Kagome is allowed to lay on him in such a way.

Inuyasha and Kagome both look at how Inuyasha and Wreck have fallen, then blush.

Wreck: Huh? What's wrong with lying like this?

Inuyasha has fallen flat on his back, with Wreck face down on top of him, so that…um…yeah.

Inuyasha: GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW!!!

Blaze: (fell on top of Shippo, but hasn't noticed yet) Wreck, just get off of him.

Wreck: Okay. (crawls off of Inuyasha)

Inuyasha lays there looking traumatized.

DVL: (fell on top of the demon) That doesn't look fun. By the way, Blaze? You're sitting on Shippo.

Blaze: Oh. Oops. (gets off)

Shippo: *dizzy eyes*

DVL: You really should notice these things. (jumps off of the demon, slices it in half with Enormous Axe, and take the jewel shard from its leg) Anyone want this?

(all stare at DVL)

DVL: What? It was just a pathetic weak demon! Geez!

(all continue to stare)

DVL: Fine then, I'll keep it for myself. I always wanted one of these things. (puts shard in her pocket)

Kagome: Wait, I'll take it!

Wreck: TOO LATE! Devi take jewel, Devi take jewel!

(all stare at Wreck)

Wreck: WAAAH!!! Why are you all staring at me?!? WAAAH!!!

Miroku: What is wrong with her?

Blaze: We've been wondering that since we met her. Haven't figured it out yet.

Wreck: Nothing wrong! I PERFECT!!! (hugs herself)

DVL: …yeah. Uh, yeah. So…how did we get here?

Blaze: I thought YOU brought us here and just made a bad landing.

DVL: I was in the middle of hurting Ion! I LOVE hurting Ion! Why would I take us then?!?

Blaze: Good point. Then what happened?

DVL: Maybe Wreck… (trails off and looks at Wreck, who is playing with Inuyasha's ears after somehow tying him up with a garden hose)

Blaze: No, we would have noticed that. Wreck, YAMERU!

Wreck stops and sits on the ground next to Inuyasha, looking up at Blaze with very big puppy-dog eyes.

DVL: (shakes her head in disgust)

Sango: Who ARE you people?

DVL: Oh, sorry. I'm DVL, that's Blaze, and the, um, weird baby…dog… girl…person there is Wreck. We're from another world.

Miroku: Then how did you get here?

Blaze: No idea. We're just here.

Wreck: Can we kill somebody while we're here?

DVL: If we run into Jaken you may eat him.

Wreck: YAY!!! (hugs DVL)

DVL: WILL YOU GET OFF?!?

*Naraku's Fortress*

Naraku: Hehehehe…all according to plan. They'll never survive with those stupid bakas around. Inuyasha and that little fox demon are already incapacitated. It won't be long before the others are too…hehehehe…MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MUHAHAHAHAHA—(starts coughing)

((A/N: Sorry, I always wanted to do that.))

*Elsewhere*

Blaze is explaining what happened. Inuyasha leans against a tree, trying to un-traumatize himself, while Kagome bandages the large bump on Shippo's head, Sango cleans Hiraikotsu, DVL tries to keep Wreck away from Inuyasha, and Miroku tries to look serious but eyes Blaze every few seconds. Oh, and Kirara sits next to Sango, meowing.

(when Blaze is finished)

Miroku: Well, we must find a way to return these ladies to their own world. (eyes Blaze again)

Blaze: *thinking* Why did I wear a skirt today? I should not have worn a skirt…

Wreck: Why not?

Blaze: Stop reading my mind!

Wreck: Oh. Sorry, Blazey. (tries to get to Inuyasha)

DVL: NO, Wreck.

Wreck: Aww, but Devi… (makes big puppy-dog eyes)

DVL: NO.

Wreck: Pleasy?

DVL: Wreck, are you deaf or something? I said NO.

Wreck: Pretty pleasy?

DVL: Again, NO.

Wreck: Pretty pleasy with sugar and whipped cream?

DVL: NO, dammit! (drops a quarter into The Jar for cussing around Wreck)

Wreck: (sulks)

Shippo: What does she want?

DVL: Either to play with Inuyasha's ears or to make him her pet puppy. Not sure which.

Inuyasha: Uh...

Wreck: He'd be a good inu!

DVL: NO.

Inuyasha: HELLO! Don't I get a say in this?!?

Blaze: We're saying no!

Kagome: You can't take Inuyasha for a pet.

Wreck: Why? I turned seveny last week!

DVL: You turned SIXTEEN last week, baka!

Inuyasha: (explodes) SIXTEEN?!? She's **_SIXTEEN?!?_**

Blaze: Kinda sad when you think about it.

Inuyasha: (growls) Why don't I beat you up until you act sixteen?

Wreck: Does Yashy want to fight?

Inuyasha: It's INUYASHA!!! And I'll fight you!!!

Wreck: Yay!!! (jumps around clapping her hands) I get to fight Yashy, I get to fight Yashy...

DVL: Uh-oh.

Inuyasha: Don't worry. I won't hurt her TOO much! (pulls out Tetsusaiga)

DVL: It's not HER I'm worried about.

Inuyasha: What's THAT supposed to mean?!?

DVL: You're a half-demon with a big sword, and she's a complete maniac who also happens to be a Grim Reaper with a scythe who wants you for a pet.

Inuyasha: So?

Blaze: She can also bring herself back to life if you kill her, and kill YOU by waving her hand if she feels like it.

Inuyasha: Feh! Whatever. I'll still win.

Wreck: Silly inu! (attacks Inuyasha with her scythe)

((A/N: Fights will not be in script format, because if they were I would annoy myself and everyone reading.))

Inuyasha blocked with Tetsusaiga, then shoved the scythe away and slashed at Wreck. Wreck screamed and ducked, then ran forward as soon as the sword was past. She tackled Inuyasha, then fell on top of him and proceeded to have a tantrum, beating the crap out of him with her fists.

The others all watch intently.

Shippo: (digs into Kagome's bag and pulls out popcorn) Poor Inuyasha.

Kagome: You could have warned them sooner! (grabs popcorn back from Shippo)

DVL: Oops.

Shippo: Oh yeah, what are you holding?

DVL: It's called gasoline. Our friend wanted it, and I guess I was holding it when we got warped here.

Shippo: What's it for?

DVL: It makes cars run.

Shippo: What are cars?

DVL: Oy.

Wreck continues to beat up Inuyasha.

Blaze: Want me to stop her?

Kagome: YES!!!

DVL: No, it's a good show. And you don't hear anyone else complaining.

Sango shifts uncomfortably, not wanting to admit that she finds the fight interesting, and Shippo looks mournfully at the popcorn. Miroku, meanwhile, has snuck behind Blaze and chose that moment to touch her in a rude place.

Blaze: AAH!!! DAMN HENTAI!!! (slaps Miroku)

Miroku: (stumbles away, rubbing the handprint on his face) Not bad for a woman.

Blaze scowls and points at Miroku, who bursts into flames.

DVL: About time. I've been waiting for you to do that since we got here. (grabs Enormous Axe and chops the flaming Miroku into little tiny pieces)

Wreck: (stops beating up Inuyasha) Ooh! Ooh ooh ooh! (jumps off of Inuyasha and starts stomping on Miroku's remains)

Inuyasha: *dizzy eyes* Ah...

Sango: Miroku!

Wreck: Huh? Did you want him back? Okay! (brings Miroku back to life)

Miroku: What the...

Blaze: Can I flame him again? (grins evilly)

Kagome and Sango: **_NO!!!_**

Sango: Enough!

Blaze: (stops grinning evilly) Tch. Fine.

Inuyasha: Ah...some help...

Kagome: Oh, Inuyasha! (runs to help him up)

DVL: Now what?

Wreck: We have to kill Naraky.

(all look at Wreck)

Blaze: What?

Shippo: Who's Naraky?

DVL: Naraku...What about him, Wreck?

Wreck: He say— (face scrunches up as she tries to remember) Um...oh yeah! *imitates Naraku's voice* "If I transport those three bakas here they'll destroy Inuyasha for sure. And I'll make sure they can't leave until they're all dead. Hehehe..." (pause) "Or if they kill me, of course, but that won't happen. Naraku, you're brilliant! MUHAHAHAHAHA!" *normal voice* What does that mean?

DVL: (shaking her head) That Naraku could stand to have a lower opinion of himself, mostly.

Blaze: And that he brought us here.

Myoga: (nodding wisely) It must be another of his Evil Plots.

Inuyasha: Where did you come from?

Myoga: Ah...

Inuyasha: Whatever. How do YOU know what Naraku said, anyway?

DVL: She can read minds. From very far away if she feels like it.

Shippo: Cool! What am I thinking?

Wreck: (bites her lip) Um... (brightens) You want popcorn!

Shippo: Yeah!

Kagome: You don't need to read minds to figure THAT out, Shippo. What's Miroku thinking? Not that I really WANT to know...

Miroku: Why would you not?

Kagome: It would scare me.

Wreck: Um...thinkie thinkie...oh! He say, um...Blazey, I don't get it.

Blaze: What did he say?

Wreck tells her.

((A/N: I will not repeat what he said. Wreck may not understand it, but I do, and find it insulting. Blaze will find it even more insulting.))

Blaze: You...you...YOU HENTAI!!! YOU PERVERTED LITTLE—I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! DVL, GIVE ME THE GASOLINE!!!

DVL: Uh, what are you going to do?

Blaze: GUESS!!!

DVL: No thanks. (gives Blaze the gasoline) 

Blaze: Thank you. (grabs Miroku and drenches him in gasoline)

Miroku: What is this? What are you doing to me?!?

Blaze: This. (sets Miroku on fire)

Miroku turns into a lovely fireball and five seconds later is ashes, which Wreck stomps on.

Sango: Not again...

Wreck: Don't worry, I can fix him!!! (brings Miroku back to life again)

Blaze: Dammit, stop DOING that!

DVL: AH-HEM!!!

Blaze: Sorry. (puts many quarters in The Jar for cussing so much)

DVL: Thank you. Now, can we PLEASE go kill Naraku and get out of here?

Kagome: That's a good idea. We were doing that anyway. C'mon everyone! (jumps on her bike)

(all groan)

To be continued...

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That is, if you people are interested. Review! I'm not writing any more until I get some positive reviews. Key word: positive. No flames! Flames will be given to Wreck to play with, and nobody wants that!

~DVL


	2. Where's Wreck?

Excuse me, a brief interruption to comment on the anime I'm watching. KIKYO, DON'T YOU DARE KISS INUYASHA!!!

Hey!!! What are you doing to him you little dead freak?!? Maybe you're dead but he isn't and doesn't want to!!! Hey!!

I never thought I'd say this, but go Kagome!!! Kick Kikyo's sorry ass!!!

That does it. Next fic, I kill Kikyo. Sorry Rimley13 and Axl, I'll finish the one I was working on with you too, but Kikyo must die sooner!!! DEATH TO KIKYO!!!

Fyr (muse): Wake up! Pay attention, geez. We have to put the fic up.

DVL: Oh fine. Ah ha, Kikyo's gone.

All muses: **_DVL!!!_**

DVL: D'oh. Whatever. Anyway, I forgot to do a disclaimer before. Oops. Oh well. Since I hate disclaimers, Wreck will do it.

Disclaimer: Wreck: I own Yashy! Yashy is MINE!!! MINE MINE MINE!!! (lawyers show up) NO!!! YOU'RE WRONG, YASHY IS MINE!!! (important-looking judge and cop show up) AAH!!! Um...maybe he isn't mine...WAAAH!!!

Fyr: I can't believe her, she forgot to kill the lawyers. Baka. Oh well. (flames lawyers)

(lawyers run away screaming)

Fyr: TAKE THAT!!!

DVL: *sweatdrop* Uh...yeah. Why don't I just start the fic...

Hey!!! Now what? Kikyo, you're DEAD!!! Act like it!

Miroku, you little...he has a point. What DO you do when you're alone with a woman? Actually, wait, I don't want to know.

What's the name of this episode again? Something about Kagome's voice and Kikyo's kiss? Was that all of it?

Fyr: (groans) Start already...

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You remember where we ended? Well, three days later...

DVL: Are you sure you know where you're going?

Kagome: Of course I'm sure! There's a shard this way!

DVL: A shard? Oh great, are we gonna be stuck with you until you get all the shards?

Inuyasha: You'd better not be!!!

Miroku: Yes, I think I would like to stay alive from now on, and not burning every three seconds.

Blaze: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE A HENTAI!!!

Miroku: I can hardly help that.

Blaze: OOH...! (heads for Miroku)

DVL: Ah, Blaze, please don't do that. (grabs Blaze)

Blaze: Oh, fine.

Shippo: (looks around) Um, has anyone seen Wreck?

(all look around)

DVL: Uh-oh...

Everyone immediately begins searching for Wreck, except Blaze, who just stood there yelling "Come!" at the top of her lungs.

Sango: Do you really think that will help?

Blaze: Usually does. WRECK, COME!!!

Shippo: Why are you yelling anyway? Can't she read minds?

Blaze: ...Only when she feels like it. If she doesn't want to come back we'll have to look the traditional way.

DVL: And we should be quick...no telling what she might do without us around to stop her.

Inuyasha: Honestly. That girl is dangerous!!!

Kagome: (busy looking) Then stop talking and come help!

*Five hours later*

Miroku: There is still no sign of her.

Inuyasha: Am I the only one worried?

DVL: No. I mean, what if she blew up the planet again?

(all stare at DVL)

Kagome: Um, what do you mean?

Blaze: The last time Wreck got away from us she blew up the planet and we had to have our friend who can reverse time fix it.

There is a moment of silence, then everyone except Blaze and DVL freaks out at the same time.

Inuyasha: NNNAAANNNNIIIIII?!?!?!?

Shippo: IIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Kagome: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Miroku: (drops to the ground, moaning something about still being a virgin)

Myoga: (frantically jumps up and down on Inuyasha's shoulder, muttering incoherently)

All of Kirara's fur stands on end and she digs into Sango with her claws.

Sango: (runs off to find Wreck so fast that a trail of fire follows her)

DVL: Uh...now what?

Blaze: (not listening to DVL) Miroku is still a virgin? Who knew? Thought he would have tricked SOMEBODY into fixing that by now.

DVL: HELLO!!!

Blaze: Huh? Sorry.

Wreck: (randomly pops out of the bushes) HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(all sigh in relief)

Miroku: Perhaps we should ask Lady Kaede for more of those beads...

DVL: Well, we have those already. But they don't have enough range. If she goes off we're screwed.

Shippo: Where did you get the beads from?

DVL: Um...uh...(starts coughing)

Shippo: Huh?

Blaze: (ignores him)

Shippo: Hey!

Wreck: They get them by coming here when they not supposed to and STEALING them, bad Devi and Blazey!!!

DVL: Yameru.

Wreck: (sits on the ground)

DVL: Good girl.

Inuyasha: Does she respond to anything else?

DVL: Uh-huh. Yameru, come, heel, and *changes voice to sound like Kagome* osuwari!

Inuyasha: (falls flat on his face)

DVL: I always wanted to do that.

Kagome: Hey! That's only supposed to work for me!

DVL: I sounded like you. I don't know how those bead things work but I guess if I sound like you it still "sits" him.

Myoga: Actually I do not think it works like that. It is the power of Lady Kagome, not her voice.

DVL: Then I mimicked her power. Whatever. I'm psychic, I can do that.

Wreck: What?

Blaze: Nothing you should be worried about. (grabs Wreck and drags her away) Now, let's talk about the fact that you aren't supposed to go anywhere without us...

The others can't see Blaze and Wreck anymore. The sound of several punches is heard, and some sizzling, and Wreck yelling, "OUCHIES!"

Miroku: What is she doing over there?

Inuyasha: Who cares, as long as it hurts that maniac?

Shippo: That's mean.

DVL: They do this a lot. Blaze will work off some anger and Wreck will bring herself back to life. No permanent damage.

Inuyasha: Then why don't you FIX that?

DVL: You're a dog and you're saying the word "fixed"?

Inuyasha: .........

Kagome: She has a point.

Inuyasha: .........

Sango: I think it is more interesting that he doesn't respond.

Miroku: Indeed.

Inuyasha groans and leaves, looking annoyed. Blaze and Wreck come back, Blaze looking happy and Wreck looking subdued.

Wreck: Ouchies...

Inuyasha: (from wherever he is, sounding very ticked off) If you're DONE, can we GO now?!?

Kagome: Sure. Let's go.

And they all set off again...

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That's it. Until next chapter.

~DVL

Fyr: And muses! Don't you dare forget us! Hey, are you listening?!?


End file.
